Still Seeking the Perfect Gift after 10 Years

Ten years ago today, 24 hours after my college graduation ceremony, my wife ("M") and I were married in the beautiful home of a local Methodist minister. Eleven hamsters, nine cats, one bird, and two children later, I couldn't be happier. Contrary to the beliefs of the anti-marriage folks who continually crack juvenile jokes about the ball-and-chain, warden, gatekeeper, or whatever the latest anti-marriage-derogatory-term-to-make-myself-
feel-better-about-not-maturing-before-35 term may be, a successful marriage really does get better each year.

Maybe I'm just lucky, but M has grown fantastically more attractive to me: emotionally, physically, intellectually, spiritually, and culturally. In an age of diminishing values, cultural apathy, and rising selfishness (thanks to the public schools), there she is, holding the line where we know God's truth to lie, that unmarked border between "right" and "wrong".

We have both grown together over the years, as we have each moved further to the right--her pulling me over socially and me pulling her over on economic issues. We are a perfect team. She's the right-brain, emotional, intuitive, caring, selfless mother and wife, and I'm the left-brain, logical, problem-solving family man. If we sound 100% stereotypically traditional, we're not. I do the cooking, lawn care, and maintenance. She does the painting, hiring, and planning. As for the little ones, she does the teaching, signing up for activities, and taxiing. I read to them occasionally, and...did I mention I do the cooking? We're as near a perfect team as you could imagine.

Obviously she's much better at the child rearing thing than I am. It doesn't come naturally to me. I keep wanting to sit down with them and logically explain why their bodies really need them to eat a balance of meats, vegetables, and breads; or why they shouldn't jump in the puddles; or why they shouldn't dart out into the parking lot when leaving a store. Surely most parents are out there laughing right now. Yes, M figured it out quite early. The reasons why to do certain things aren't nearly as important and effective as a quick "Don't do that!" or "Get back here right now!"

It's very difficult for an unimaginative, left-brainer like me to tell his wife how much he loves and appreciates her. The best I can usually come up with is the tired old balloons, candy, and cards you see on TV. There just doesn't seen to be a method as special as the intended recipient. This is the typical anniversary quandary. What can I do or give that matches how I feel about her? Words, gifts, and letters fail. But let me just say that for the rest of our lives as our love and devotion grow yearly, so will my continued effort to seek out that perfect answer to all that she's given me.